MrsChief questioned:
and had a pleased wedding ceremony afterwards. I just found out my husband is cheating and he wants to try to work it out. How do i get over this?
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Tags: Cheating Husband, Husband Cheating, Marriage
That’s a huge question.
How long was he cheating? Did he confess or you found out?
What does he have to say?
Do you have any children?
Has the other woman gone away, or does he work with her?
Yes I do believe you can work owing to it, but I know I personally would not be able to. Some women can. I know people who have.
Some people can’t. Isn’t it nice that when found out a rat still wants to come home and work it out? He should have plotting in this area that before he cheated and broke your trust. You have to look deep and figure out if you would be able to forgive him or if it is something that would permanently be in the back of your mind because if it would be there, how pleased of a wedding ceremony would you say you are going to have?
If you like him stay give your self time to work out whether you can forgive or not. if you feel like you need him – that’s probably why he did it in the initially place and agony do it again.
it is my own private experience that i couldn’t forgive my husband (ex) for cheating. i stayed with him many, many years after the second thing, initially one i was unaware of but it came out after the second. i stayed because i was completely devastated and i had two children and he was all i had ever renowned. but time rocked along and no matter how hard i tried, no matter how hard HE tried, i never got over it. i never even started to get over it. i had to get on meds to live with the depression. ALL the women i know that are still with cheating husbands are on antidepressants. not a excellent thing when you have to take a pill everyday just to tolerate an offending spouse. i divorced him years later and i can say that, after the divorce, i have forgiven him. something i wasn’t successful in doing while i was married to him. i am now happily remarried and so is he and i’m hoping he learned a lesson and doesn’t do this to his current wife. but honestly, i don’t care any longer. i am finally past it. excellent luck
Of the few marriages that survived faithlessness, there were a lot of counseling involved. If your husband agree to go to therapy and group counseling, it may work. You guys can come out of this stronger and closer than before. It takes a very huge heart to forgive faithlessness, and he’d have to respect you much more for that.
I personally reckon I would have a very, very hard time forgiving faithlessness, but it has never happened to me, and cannot fathom the hurt you are going owing to. I would have to say I have a 0 tolerance for faithlessness.
See if he agrees to counseling. Maybe he’s sincere and won’t cheat again, but I’d be very nervous in this area staying with a cheater.
They permanently want to work it out. Then the time rolls around where later they try to sneak again (since they’re often full back).
Best policy is to let a guy know up front, if ya cheat, you are out for excellent.
They’re certainly ancient enough to choose excellent behavior over hurtful behavior.
Then question yourself, would he take you back if you cheated on him. Not likely.
Well observably you can’t trust him again and that fact that he cheated will permanently be dwelling in your mind. ALWAYS! You need to find out why he did it but most importantly can you live with the fact that he cheated and will you be hurting yourself in the long run if you stay with him. He shot you with a bullet you can’t remove can you stand there and look at him knowing what he did.
Forgiveness is a process. It can take months or years. Your husband has to absolutely be there for you. This is a list that helped us:
I was one of those women who said faithlessness was an absolute deal breaker, but until you wear the shoes of a betrayed spouse, it would be hard for anyone to know. We went to counseling on and off for years, before and after the affair. (Observably that didn’t work.) What really helped us was a program called Retrouvaille. The largest thing we learned was “like is a choice”. Life has been a struggle sometimes, but mostly a joy. I can’t say I trust him unconditionally, or ever will, yet each day he strives to show me that he can be trusted.
All I sought after to do wash wish you luck, this must be something dreadful to have to go thru.
Yes and No Initially No because you will feel insecure, and everytime you reckon of that you will be fuming, whenever he is out you will reckon if not.
Yes
If you are excellent in forgive and forget it may work, as longers he does not do the same mistake twice. Some say that a relatioship are build on trust but i say trusting is hard if you like just make it work, if the is a room for trust then don’t hesitate.. I hope it can help you
i reckon that it depends on what your feeling, each case is different.
a friend of mines husband cheated and then they chose to work things out. that was 6 years ago, and still to this day she calls him all the time to see where he is and what hes doing. it drives ME crazy, i cant suppose how he feels.
if you want to work it out, you need to both be comitted. but you also will need to let it go, or you will drive yourself and him crazy until the relationship ends.
excellent luck =]
I am so sorry. There is no definitive answer on what or how to do.
You have to choose what you and your family need.
Either way, I would suggest counseling. It will help to get a surpass hold on what to do and help you find out what you need emotionally. Mrs. Chief, I am very sorry. It must be very hard. If you need to e mail, please do.
Yes I did do that. But I wish that I never did. He never changed.
He is now my ex. I was told he is now cheating on his new wife.
Some men, never change no matter who their with. I reckon if he likes
her he would never cheat. Do you know if the other woman is gone.
Some men are real excellent at telling the other woman just to be cool.
Then when they get the wife a gift makes her pleased. They go right back to the other woman. Maybe a new one. How long was he seeing her?
If it had been years he has feelings for her. And told her to be cool.
He will do it again. You do not win anything but a cheater. When you stay with him. And also by staying your telling him its okay to cheat.
That is what I did.
Wow..initially of all I am so sorry.
My husband and I had a talk in this area this before we got married. We agreed that if one of us cheated then no matter what, we would leave the other. This is why. You can permanently forgive no matter what it is with time but you can’t permanently forget. If you can’t forget it then the rest of your life will more than likely be miserable and that is not the way it should be lived.
I will pray for you. I really hope that you figure this out. God Bless ~Jessica
My sympathy goes out to you. It is awkward to learn something like this. Men want to be full care of, as in wedding ceremony, but really don’t want to be tied down. It is very hard for some of them to honor vows and promises they have made.
Personally, I cannot, but some women can. It depends on circumstances, how far are you willing to go. You will never forget – can you live with that nagging suspicion in the future?
Take care of yourself, my dear, and do what you feel is best for you today.