I signed MJJ monument questioned:
I divorced my husband due to affair. But, their was a time (1yr) when I knew he was having this affair hot & heavy in it because it was all out in the open! I admit I was devastated. I didn’t know what to do. So I did nothing for 1yr 3months. I went in this area life (at that time) as normal as possible. So my question is…
What message is agreed to the cheating spouse if the other spouse is fully aware of affair & does nothing?
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Tags: Cheating Spouse, Spouse Cheating, Women Men
I would thing you were weak!
Wedding ceremony is different then dating. If someone keeps cheating and the other person stays, it is weakness. But wedding ceremony is hard to get out of.
My cousin has a boyfriend who has left her several times to see other people and she permanently takes him back. Its because she doesn’t reckon she can do surpass and is too bone idle to find someone else.
You got out of the wedding ceremony. Excellent for you. Some people don’t because they are green and really reckon the spouse will change.
it shows that either you dont mind and he can do anything he wants to because he runs the relationship
The terms of a wedding ceremony are up to those involved to define.
Some people see an affair as the worst possible betrayal, while others see it as a purely sexual release and are not threatened by it.
Most people probably fall everyplace in between.
Personally, I don’t have an opinion on other people’s marriages and their responses to faithlessness. There are too many factors that are renowned only to those involved, and ultimately, it’s not my concern.
Weak, they are worried to be alone even when their spouse has total disregard for their feelings and a complete disrespect. How can you live like that in the same home? It’s okay to forgive one time and work owing to a wedding ceremony but if its a continuous thing then that makes you weak.
he would reckon that he could get away with it, without consequences. it is hard to know what to do when this happens, and there is permanently the possibility that the spouse will come to his senses and come back. but waiting too long just makes u look weak, and makes u feel weak in this area yourself. when a spouse is openly cheating on u, its in your best interest to get a divorce so u can go on with life and not loose your dignity.
Desperation.
This question is questioned weekly. Just go look it up.
BTW, forgive them once, shame on them. Forgive them twice shame on you.
I dont consider is a sign of weakness. It takes a STRONG woman to place up with that kind of bold behavior.
In my opinion, I feel that you were hoping it would just end. But you had finally reached your limit and said “Enough is enough already”. I look at your EX as the weak one. Any man who cheats and cheats and cheats is a very weak person. It is the woman who puts up with it that is the strong one. It is the woman who will forgive and take the husband/boyfriend back. Try that with a man. You cheat one time, and you are history!
But, the message that is being relayed to the cheating spouse is this: “Its ok what you’re doing. I’ll stay right here and wait for you until you are done, and I will just ignore it….then we can continue with our wedding ceremony/relationship when you feel you are ready again.”
that is a tough one, I guess one never truly knows what they would do until it happens to them. I have forgiven mine for things that some folks would not agree with, I guess. Not faithlessness, but ill-treat enough. It is up to the indiviudal, only you can say if you can get owing to a situation like that and not allow it to tear you up. Pray on it!
Its probably weak self esteem. Either you care or you don’t
I believe it all depends on how you look at it. In a sense, a woman who can forgive her cheating partner over and over must be strong enough to stay in such a tumultuous relationship that’s gotta be tearing her up inside instead of just throwing in the towel. Everyone is different and the way that a woman handles the situation should be her choice because it’s her life and no matter what she decides she shouldn’t be viewed as “weak” or like she’s worthless just because she decides to stay. I know quite a few women who have stayed in those relationships and their husbands completely changed after a few years (alcoholism had a lot to do with the repetitive cheating). Even if I have been cheated on myself, it was a one time thing and I left the relationship after the initially time, but I don’t judge women who choose to stay either.
Due to the fact that STD’s can kill you…sticking around is not a excellent thought IMO. Would putting up with cheating be worth getting AIDs?? I reckon not. I reckon a strong woman will kick him out and start over fresh with her head held high!
I would say denial… refusing to grasp what is going on and acting as if it is not… Hoping that they will come to their senses or praying that they will leave and not return.. Many deal with it in dread that they would not be able to make it on their own.
I reckon if you know and do nothing it is a form of saying you don’t care or don’t want to deal with it. I reckon it gives them the impression that they can have both of you.
Surly it had to have hurt your feelings to where he seen the impact of it. But that again depends on his level of caring for you.
If you knew and did nothing then I would question your own feelings for him as well..maybe you just had enough and didn’t care because you knew it was going to end.. glad to see that you made the right choice.. I don’t reckon it shows weakness.. in a wedding ceremony there can be other factors that you have to take into significance.. sometimes it takes plotting to get out.. Sounds like you washed-out time getting to know yourself and how to live without him so when the time came you followed owing to with leaving.
If you know something is ill-treat and you do nothing in this area it, you might as well give him consent to continue. But, you were probably in a state of shock and some denial. I bet your glad it’s over. Is it?
The spouse is weak and the cheating spouse learns it’s ok to cheat because their partner will do nothing.
I reckon you are a fool if you forgive him time and time again.
He knows you will stay. So he can do what ever he wants.
If you leave he is the fool with no one to take of him.
But most stay for cash, kids, like. But he can`t make enough for you to place up this The kids might be surpass off. He can`t like you.
So why would anyone want to be a fool and look the other way.
Yes he thinks its amusing when he gets by with it. You were a fool.
Sorry but thats how I see it.
Excellent on you for summoning the strength needed to obtain the divorce!!! I could never stick around if I knew he was being unfaithful, that would be it for me.
I don’t reckon you should be so hard on yourself for doing nothing for that initially year and a bit after you knew in this area the affair. I suspect you were probably so devastated and shocked that you were kind of paralysed into inaction, not because you didn’t care, not because you forgave him, but because you were so weakened by the knowledge of the affair and so desperate for normality that you tried to live your life as normally as possible and failed to act, nearly as though you were in denial.
I reckon the message agreed to the cheating spouse when the other spouse is fully aware of the affair and doesn’t act is that the other spouse is complicit in allowing the affair to take place. I reckon to some boundary it may even appease their feelings of guilt. It’s not for you to concern yourself with whatever he was thinking or feeling though, he made the choice to cheat, and he is fully responsible for his own actions. Your job is to take care of you, rebuild your life, relinquish the tainted past you had with him, and dream a new dream for yourself.